The complexities of my taste palette range between that of an infant and Homer Simpson…

Now, if vegetables could always be hidden in a pruée, or made into the shape of / look like / taste like a doughnut – I’d be all for them…

But, just one glance at a brussel sprout and I feel as overwhelmed as I did when I first watched Scar betray Mufasa…

What do I do with that thing? Chop it? Fry it?
Tie it up and beat it until it takes me to its leader?

I mean…

Broccoli in pasta?
Deflect.

Lettuce in a burger?
no.

Salad described as a ‘meal?’

hells no.

But alas,
just as I can’t run from my haunting high school memories, living a vegetable-less life has started to take its toll…

It turns out, eating a medley of coco pops, Linda McCartney sausages and Thai food (7 days a week) – is not the balanced diet I first thought it was.

Now Linda, I still love you. You’ve transformed my bangers and mash Wednesday evenings – there is no doubt.

It just seems – that after not being able to run to the on sale peanut butter in time without feeling like my lung is on the verge of collapsing – that maybe there is something to this vegetable malarkey after all.

So, I decided to delve.
Instead of mocking the odd vegetable browsers, I instead – became one of them.
I browsed.

Poked and prodded.

I started dressing in beige 

I even began googling the unidentifiable objects…
(To clarify – a Daikon is not a Pokemon)

I have had to swap my weekly power walk through the produce section for a (tearful) sprint past the cookie aisle.
Avoiding shelves of – sugar bomb chocolate filled happiness circles…
(aka Maryland cookies)…
Whilst clasping onto my uninviting (confused) carrots.

My first few discoveries
Day 1:
Carrots also exist outside of a can
Day 2:
If you poke every single avocado in the store you are sure to receive eye rolls and * under the breath * grumbles from both customers and the employees – and still never find a ripe one.
Day 3:
To gain approval from other vegetable buyers / cult members: Nod, smile and add an ‘ooh’ here and there when squeezing an orange (I still don’t really know why)

Originally, I thought that unless you deep fry, bury in salt or throw away vegetables – they will always taste like bark.

Turns out – not true.

I mean yes, a disguise is needed when introducing these fibre filled guys. But just a – less blood pressure raising – kind of cape.

Of course, there has been some trial and error.
Some veg just doesn’t agree with me…
(I’m looking at you aubergine).

I’m not encouraging you to tackle a dry bit of iceberg lettuce until your taste buds miraculously change.
But instead,
dress it differently…

So to avoid the ever-growing web search,
here are a collection of some of our favourite go to recipes…

Here for your kids (or even just your inner child) before they become the packaged noodle monster they are destined to turn into…

Send me noodes.
Mange tout? Courgette? Bean sprouts?
This dish helps you to conquer the veggies you probably avoid or have never heard of.
https://deliciouslyella.com/2017/08/24/spicy-veggie-noodle-bowl/
(you could even roast some veggies + add them in too)

Earthy Andy once again making vegetables cool
– Sweet potato sushi burrito –
http://www.earthyandy.com/plant-based-meal-recipe/sushi-burrito

When in doubt… DIP.
Dips are an easy way to cram in veggies.
When you have no idea what to do with beetroot…
– Beet Hummus –
https://www.lazycatkitchen.com/vegan-beet-hummus/
(You could dunk veggies in, spread on a sandwich / wrap / crackers etc…)
Go wild.

Fixing the leek
Loni Jane’s
– Mushroom and leek risotto –
http://www.feelthelean.com/plant-based-mushroom-and-leek-risotto/

The greatest veg disguise
A green smoothaaay
– Frozen banana and peanut butter smoothie –
https://deliciouslyella.com/2016/01/16/frozen-banana-peanut-butter-smoothie/
The easiest way to whack in veggies before lunch time

The wizards at Minimalist Baker have made a video on different ways that you can eat your veggies and not wish they were cookies.
– How to roast veggies + 6 ways to enjoy them –
https://minimalistbaker.com/how-to-roast-vegetables/

– Coconut Curry –
https://sarahsveganguide.com/pumpkin-coconut-curry
Swirl in some spinach and green beans for extra Popeye strength

S’all in the sauce…
Mac + cheese hidden with veggies
– Vegan Pumpkin Mac and Cheese –
http://domesticgothess.com/blog/2018/10/20/vegan-pumpkin-mac-and-cheese-with-garlic-breadcrumbs/
You could add spinach + peas in and even add roasted or steamed broccoli on the side for added green love.

The main problem with salad?
A poorly dressed salad…
– 5 Salad dressings –
https://rawvana.com/five-vegan-salad-dressings/
Maybe your lettuce just needed an extra jacket

Everyone loves mash
(just smash in some veggies too)
– 4 Vegetable Mash Alternatives –
https://thepioneerwoman.com/food-and-friends/4-vegetable-mash-alternatives/
Swap out the butter for a dairy free alternative

The fact that you can put both – carrot and zucchini – in something and it be transformed into a delicious dessert – just confirms my belief that witchcraft is real.
– Carrot Cake Blondies –
https://www.naturally-nina.com/recipes/2018/2/16/carrot-cake-blondies
(Plus lots of other veggie filled recipes from the wonders of – Naturally Nina)

Disguise, hide, dress up – whatever you fancy…

Tiny meal veg vamp tips

♥

* Swap taco shells for cabbage shells for mexi night

*Grate cauliflower or break down in a food processor and saute in a olive oil or stock and swap out the rice.

*Hide the veg in the sauce and blend blend blend

*Smooth and creamy soups + dips are an easy way to get in loads of veggies in without even noticing.

*Squeeze some lemon / lime or orange to enhance veggie flavours

*Chop veggies into small pieces and mix in with your meals so they go unnoticed or grate / spiralise veg like courgette and carrots. 

*Experiment with herbs and spices 

*Get yourself a fab cookbook and try out a recipe a week.

Here are a few favourites:

Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*CK
By Davis and Holloway

But I Could Never Go Vegan!
By Kristy Turner

Vegan Comfort Classics
By Lauren Toyota

Minimalist Baker’s : Everyday Cooking
By Dana Shultz

Deliciously Ella : The Plant – Based Cookbook
By Ella Mills (Woodward)

So, how do I feel post veg?

My complexion no longer has a haunting grey tone, accompanied by a dot to dot game of pimples. Which is ideal. My digestion is better, my energy levels are top-notch, I can walk to the candy store without getting a stitch and I’m now always first to the discounted PB.

I am still yet to receive my night vision from the copious amounts of carrots I’ve been climbing my way through – but I’m not giving up just yet.

Now, instead of fighting with my veggie demons – we now only partake in occasional pan duels.

Who knew, there is more to life than packaged noodles.

Peas out

Reg

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(Keep your veggie purchases waste free by taking your own vegetable produce bags. If you forget your bags – go for a mushroom paper bag and hold onto it to use again next time)
Here are some veggie loving bag ideas:
https://rethink.nz

Why use them?
* Less single use waste
* Long lasting
* Keeps fruits + veggies fresher for longer
* They are stronger than paper/plastic bags – so less chance of breaking
* Reduce plastic use